With every step,

With every step,

the more my heart moves to your beat. Y

the more my heart moves to your beat. Y

♥ Tuesday, January 12, 2010 @ 10:06 AM

P.S: to bby....

bby,i am sorry to disappoint u wif the points that i get for O lvls...i'hv tried my best but this is what i get...umm...if u want to noe,i cnt forgive myself for being this way...im disappointed wif myself coz i didnt do well...
2009 is a year where theres so many things happen to me....happy ones and sad ones...
in march...my cat was diagnosed wif urinary infection and is seriously ill that it leads to him being hospitalised after having an operation to save his life...and now he's doing fine....i luv my cat....then,in june...2 june...juz after i sat for my Malay O lvl examination...my grandfather was practically ill and hv to be sent to hospital...he was diagnosed wif pneumonia...a symptom which infect the lungs....he's been hospitalised for 3 months in TTSH....from the 1st dae my atok[grandfather] was admitted to hospital,not a dae that i nvr came to visit him....i visit him every single dae after sko0l ends...he took care of me since i was a little girl and now its my turn to take care of him...hospital is like my 2nd home....i went bck late at nite wif granny and i didnt get enuf sleep,didnt get much time to revise my work and had to do the household chores....and 1 day,i collapsed...my head was pretty much heavy and i was having a high fever wif flu....everyday went to consult a doctor but everyday seems to bring me nearer to death....my death bed....im not trying to scare u...its the truth,its the real thing that cnt be deny....i was sent to TTSH due to high fever...and had to be hospitalised for 4 daez....i pity my granny....she had to run here and there....she had to take care of her husband and take care of me too....my granny is a strong will woman...i respect her for that...she took care of me when im hospitalised...terime kaseh nenek...after 4 daez in the hospital,i went bck home...my atok still in the hospital coz his condition is in a critical stage...and i cnt go bck to sko0l for 2 weeks after being hospitalised coz im still not fully recover....had to stay at home but i kept thinking of my atok...didnt want anything bad to happen to him...everything happens to me in a straight row...idk why it happens when im gg to take my major examination...which is O lvl...haizz...maybe Allah is testing my perseverance level...i'hv to accept it....
bby...im sorry for everything...
from the 1st time we met each other,on 4 October 09...i remember u onces said to me that if cn u didnt want to see me in ite....but,sadly...i disappoint u...not only u...my granny,mama and everyone who supported me from the back...im sorry bby....i noe that im way below ur standard...ur a Polytechnic student whereas im gg to be an ite student...we are juz like langit dgn bumi....ur brilliant boi whereas im juz a stupid girl...cnt even do well in my exam...im very stupid!!!....i admit....
bby....again i want to apologise if i bring shame to u....
im ashame of myself to faced u...
bby...if u hv make a decision to leave me coz i bring shame to u...i'll accept it...coz i noe that i dun deserve u coz ur way too gd for me....and u dun deserve a stupid girl like me...bby,i love you so much....but i dun want to bring shame to u....i dun want to shame u infront of ur frenz or family...ur well-educated whereas im not...i wanna be in the same polytechnic as u do but,everything has gone....i dont want to lose u....i'hv a number of guy frenz but they are juz a friend to me,nothing more than that.... the one that i love is u...only u...no one else...but if u think,being wif me gonna bring shame to u...and leaving me is the best way to deal wif diz matter than i will accept it although i know and im very sure that i will cry each single dae for the fact that im losing u....but,what ever it is,i really hv fall in love with you....if u want to noe,after i got my result,im speechless....idk how shud i tell u abt my result....i noe u gonna be disappointed wif me...u dun noe how i felt...i rase hampa sgt dgn diri i....i cried on the phone when talking to u yesterdae coz i cnt hold bck my tears that keeps running down my cheek...i tried to control myself but i cnt....tears keep running down and my eyes was swollen...
bby....u noe that i really love you...
but,if u want to leave me for another girl who is well-educated and hv the same standard as u do...im willing to let u go bby....coz in love,it need sacrifices....if loving u means i hv to sacrifice...im willing,coz i love you alot....i want the best for u...and if the best means u leaving me and go for another girl,theres nothing that i cn do...i cnt stop u from doing it...who am i to stop u...i akan ikhlaskn u pergi utk bersama dgn org lain jika itu keputasan yg u inginkn...kerana i terlalu sayangkn u....
im not telling u this for the sake of telling...im telling u this seriously bby....u hv ur choice,i wont stop u from everything bby.....

baby,i love you....