♥ Saturday, February 27, 2010 @ 7:52 PM
Assalamualaikum,
Selamat Menyambut Maulidur Rasul to all Muslims...
&&&
Todae,27 February 2010....To my late papa Rosli,Happy Birthday to u papa....Nana sayang papa...Nana rindu kpd papa...
Papa,bawalah nana pergi bersama papa...rindu nana pd papa tidak dpt nana ungkapkan dgn kata-kata....seandainya papa tahu,Nana amat merindui belaian kasih sayang papa....semoga roh papa dicucuri rahmat and semoga papa ditempatkan dikalangan orang-orang yang beriman....
to all lovely readers,heyleww...!!! :)
kayy,time checked its 7:56pm...
here i am again in my room updating my journal....
juz had my dinner juz now....soo full seii...[guess wat?my granny cooks rendang...yummy!!!!my fav dish seii....] standard lurr eat alot,coz my kegemaran watttttt....hehee
todae off dae,so meaning im not working...
tmr im working nite shift....5:45 -10:30pm...[haha...good luck for me lurrr]
ouhyah...todae,i dun seems to be in a good mood...i myself dun even noe why... 0_o
bored...bored...bored....haizzz...soo bored staying at home...nehh,its okae....nvrmd...
guess wat???im thirsty seii....wanna drink soya bean...cold one tawuu...hot one i dun want....heeee...
ouh yeshh...before i forget something,juz now a friend of mine msg me...he ask me if i still remember the portrait of myself that he drew for me...yessssss,mesti lurrr i igt...thanks soo muchiee tao u.... :)
to my bf,do take care of urself...dun think too much and hv enuf rest...semoga u cpt sembuh..i doakan..
to my other friend,im sorrie to hear that ur sick now...do eat ur medicine and hope u hv a fast recovery...
to my another friend,i am sorry that i break ur heart...i dun mean to do that,its not my intention to hurt u...i am sorry..
kayy2,lets change topic,cn?
wanna noe wat im up to now????
hehee...im listening to a song entitled 'Biarkan aku jatuh cinta' from ST12....such a nice song...do listen to it tawuuuuu...
haizz...im not in the mood to talk much here....dun noe lurr why...
sad...?maybe...
happy....?umm,i dun think so...
angry...?i dun think i am...
moody....?ouh yes! this is true,im in the moody mood now...
i dun noe wat im supposed to do to overcome my moodiness....maybe i shud do an activity by which i cn at least forget some of my probs for a short while....maybe,...[i think i cn consider this...]
tmr is the last dae of the month...after that,we will enter the month of March...[and it will go on...continuously]
time flies soo fast....and,it seems like my life is getting more boring....
i gets tired of living in this enigma already...
i try to change some point of my life but,sadly i cnt....i see myself next to never,how can it be forever....
its not getting better but,its getting worse and worse than before....haizzz....
thinking of all this misery in my life,,,i gets tired of it...
kayy lerr,not in the mood to say anything for now...Nana nk gy solat mencari keredhaan Tuhan & mahu berdoa kepada Tuhan agar roh papa Nana ditempatkan dikalangan orang-orang yang beriman....amin....
see u again readers...& valedictions to all......
Assalamualaikum
♥ Friday, February 26, 2010 @ 9:33 AM
Assalamualaikum
hieee..!!!
sorie readers for the very late update...been quite bz lately wif certain things...
orite...later im gg to work @ ard 5...umm...[i guess so..] coz must be there before 5:45pm...
i dun noe wat i shud post in my blog...haizz....im not in the mood todae 0_o
kayy2...lets forget abt it...lets get started...
yesterdae,i worked for lunch....but the time i work is being extended for abit more longer bcoz all the task hasnt been completed....[many customer lurrr...DUHH]....tired lorrr...haizzzz
0hya...yesterdae i met someone....a friend of mine after i finish work...didnt get to change up coz its alr late so i juz mit my friend using my work uniform.. felt soo bad sia coz i turn up late and had to make my friend waited for me for abt 1 hour....sorry ya u....my friend was wearing such a formal clothing whereas im wearing my work uniform....but the good thing is my friend dun mind wat im wearing as long as that friend of mine get to mit me...so touched seyhh...he's involved in a motor accident when he's taking a bike license,i cn see the scar on his elbow...i hope he will recover soon...insyaalllah,amin...and yes,it has been a very long time since i last met that friend of mine...theres so many things that we talk abt yesterdae....from amk we train down to city hall,walk to esplanade and sat there..and talk abt everything....[nice nite scenery seyhh...miz that moments]....my friend said that i hv change...i dun noe why my friend say i hv change...my friend said i hv change the color of my hair,the way i am,the way i used to be before and the way i talk....but theres one thing that he told me that i still remain the same as before,is im still the girl wif eyes full of sadness,tears and something that im trying to keep inside....i dun why how he knew it...yes its true that im still the girl that find it soo hard to smile and i'll alweiz frown.....he get me right....maybe bcoz he really learn abt me...
im so grateful that i get to see him again...alhamdullilah...at ard 10:31pm,we make our way bck to city hall mrt station to go bck home....he send me to the bus stop till i get on the bus then he make his way bck to the mrt station...thx soo much my friend for yesterdae....
And i apologise for what i hv done to u before....
assalamualaikum...
♥ Monday, February 22, 2010 @ 9:56 AM
Assalamualaikum,
good morning to all lovely readers ^ .^
later im gg to work,split shift todae...haizzzz...mcm bored gitu tawuu...start at 12 so i must be there at ard 11:45am i guess...soo,i think its better i spent this time before i went to work,to post something so that u all cn read it...
orite,juz now i woke up at 6:50am..idk why i woke up too early todae..maybe bcoz i had enuf sleep last nite i guess...
yesterdae i met sis fiza at amk central...accompany her had her lunch and went bck to outlet...[ im not working yesterdae,off dae for me]but,i juz came to send my dearie sis to work...[sweet kn,kn.,kn??]hahaa...maen2 jerr...
it was a rainy dae yesterdae and i was caught in the heavy downpour...i didnt bring umbrella coz i tot its gonna be a sunny dae but my prediction was wrong...it rains...haizzz...soo,after i send sis fiza to work i went straight home...
had my bathe and ate my dinner and watch tv wif granny...
my hp vibrates..its a text msg from my friend...[u dun hv to noe who diz person is kayy]...my friend asking me if im fine or not and asking me to mit up...at first,i dun wanna mit this friend of mine but then,i pity my friend coz theres soo many time i cancelled the plan to mit him...so yea,i went to mit him yesterdae...he waited for me at amk mrt station and yes im late[like usual..but not intentionally tawuuu]....poor thing seii,he juz went bck from work then he still hv the time to mit me...im touched by it...thx yea sahabatku...we met,then we talk,talk & talk....he told me if im having any problems do tell him,thx again yea u....but,sad to say...sometimes personal things is juz hard to be said....haizz...
we didnt mit for too long,he noes that im a girl and i must be home on time so he send me bck...i took bus and went home...he texted me,telling me to text him if i alr reached home...before i reached home,i receive a msg from him....umm..nvrmd[u dun hv to noe it]....its nothing actually...he juz remind me to speak to him if theres something screwing me up...as a friend,yes he is caring....
kayy lurr,i guess i gtg now...
wanna get ready to go to work now...
i'll update whenever im free kayy for sure...
do take care lovely readers...
assalamualaikum
♥ Sunday, February 21, 2010 @ 12:40 PM
yesterdae's picx....from kovan to hougang to city plaza to hougang mall to homieeee.....
♥ @ 11:25 AM
Assalamualaikum,heyleww lovely readers...im back again!
sorie for the late updates iyeerrr...
time checked,its 11:39am...i shudnt be here i noe that,but todae i didnt go for my religious claz coz my sis didnt came bck home..haizz...[dont hv to noe why kayy]personal thingy....sorry...
arghh..!!!im sooooo pissed off now...someone is making me mad now...!thankx alot eyh for saying all that in ur blog...i noe im not a gd gf to u...i alweiz makes u angry and i noe u hate me now...i noe it,u dun hv to tell me...thx eyh!
i tawu salah i tp pls jgn tuduh org laen jika u pon salah jgk...!i nie tk sempurna get it in ur mind kayy...!!!! i dun ask u to be Mr perfect either...i juz want u to understand wat im feeling rite now...datz all...smue org uat salah,i pun uat salah jgk tp,doesnt mean u cn uat salah berulang kali if u dh diberi peluang....
0ooo...u tny i cmne i bleh lupekn my ex..?like forgive and forget??
listen here kayy...i forget all my ex bcoz they are my past...i dun like to dwells on things that has gone alr...now is now,not in the past...but sometimes ppl love talking abt their ex to their gf/bf...idk why...pls get a life lurr...
i admit my mistakes that i hv commit towards u...and it seems like ur juz blaming me for everything...
dulu u tk pernah say all this harsh thingy to me but now,.....
i hv to say that u hv change now...i noe i hv change too...i change bcoz of u...u uat i jd mcm gini,dulu i tk pernah berkasar dgn sape2...but ever since u hurt me too badly,i hv change to be more and more emotional than before...
i mengaku,i bersalah dlm soal nie...i terlalu ikutkn perasaan tp as a girl,i hv a fragile heart and easily hurt by words..
u wrote in ur blog asking me why i first fall in love wif u if i noe that love actually hurts,rite?
seriously speaking,i fall for u bcoz of ur care and love u gave me...ur sweet and i admit i really love u...but now everything has change...ur not as sweet as u were when we first noe one another...u wanted me to say gdnite and gd morning to u everydae but when i msg u saying gdnite before i went to sleep,u dun reply me the next morning...it juz seems like u dun bother to reply my gdnite msg...i noe,lately i hv not been replying ur msg...i admit i was wrong...i am sorry,im juz so sad that i really find myself wif no mood at all...i felt that im nothing to u now...like wat u msg me that nite....u might think its something to joke ard but to me its not...it juz shows that u really say that im nothing to u....
.:kutahu yang dirimu tak seperti dahulu namun,istana indah yang kita bina masih segar dalam ingatanku:.
assalamualaikum
♥ Thursday, February 18, 2010 @ 9:04 PM
Assalamualaikum to all readers,
Roziana here...!!!! ^ ^ hehee...
time checked,its 9:07pm...ouh me doing wat??watching tv while blogging lurr...hahahaaa...
ohyah! lets start talking abt wat i wanna do...
theres soo many things running thru my mind now,i wanna do this and that...i wanna do rebonding, i wanna change my hairstyle [errmm...i think so],wanna do hair treatment, i wanna buy new clothes, wanna go shopping, wanna hv dinner at sakura, wanna go outing wif sis fiza & sis syasya :) && many more...
ouh dear,theres so many things for me to catch...do i hv enough time for all of that before skool starts in april...?umm,idk...maybe yes,maybe no...i hope i cn catch all my dreams before im running late of time...pray for me yeah!!!
woww...! looks like i hv to spend more time for myself first before skool start and at least i must enjoy my long holidae before its coming to an end...& yes,i cnt wait for skool to start...yaho0o0ooo!!!!weeeee ~
as for now,i think its better i keep aside some of my problem first...i think i shud enjoy my life first...i mean,my holidae kayyy....i wanna release some of my stress by catching all my dreams and hopes for dis year...i wanna have a long & shiny hair....ummm....when cn my hair length becomes longer??hmmm....i admit,i miz my long hair.... -___- sedeh seii tengok org ade rambut panjang...
wanna noe wat im up to now????
kayy2,im listening to a sad love song lurr [jiwang purrr nana mlm2 gini...hahhaa]
the song is entitled 'mengusung rindu' by Spin...its a nice song,do listen to it... :)
i dun noe why i love listening to all kinds of jiwang song...maybe bcoz i alweiz gets hurt by love kotttt...
watever it is.... LOVE HURTS ....full stop..!!! [stop means stop kayy]....
why do we called it 'love' when we alweiz gets hurt?..... think abt it and keep the verdict to urself...
haizzzzz...i think,the best way is to be single,bcoz no one will ever hurt u that way...and when ur single,u hv the rights to do everything and anything w/o being question why...dun ever let ur trust being broken by someone that u trusted wif all u hv and all he cn do is hurt u all the way....maybe its true that its not ur intention to hurt a girls feeling but then,the main thing now is u keep repeating the same old mistakes again & again...how do u expect someone to believe ur words by then [think abt it properly]....yes i hv forgiven all ur mistakes towards me but that doesnt mean i cn forget wat u hv put me thru all this while...i remember every single things that u ever did to me...u hurt me once,twice,thrice and now,u hurt me again....but sad to say,i dun see the two of us together in the future...i thought we were,but then i was wrong,maybe we are not meant to be together...neither now nor in the future...im sorry for saying all this to u...i dh maafkn semua kesilapan u tp,i masih tk dpt lupakan segala kesilapan yg telah berlaku antara kita berdua...
.:biarlah kurelakan segala walaupun hidupku penuh dengan tanda tanya:.
assalamualaikum
♥ Wednesday, February 17, 2010 @ 9:56 PM
Hieee readers,
how are u???hope all of u are fine alweiz....insyaallah...
time check,its already 9:58pm...
here i am in my room blogging...anw,soorieee for the late updates iyerrr...bz wif work lurr...haizzz -_-
i felt soo sleepiee & tired seiii...juz now at ard 8pm,i took a nap and i feel quite fresh now...
tmr work again,lunch only...seriously im tired and felt like no mood to work and all...
juz now during lunch my restaurant was running full house...such a very bz dae for us...had to rush here and there...while doing hosting juz now,i told David [my manager] that i wanna resign soon...he ask me why and i told him my reason...i hvnt confirm yet but,i think im gonna resign for the better...yes,i think i shud resign....theres no point of staying there when theres someone who dislike u...its better i leave...my instinct says that theres someone in my outlet that dislike me and i juz hope that when i hv resign that person will be hapie after that...soon i will say my valediction to my workplace....soon....
I felt somekind of weird lately....i kinda hv a feeling that i want to be alone by myself,i dun want to go out,i dun want to meet anyone & i juz want to forget everything....yes people,i want to be left alone,i think thats the best way for me to save my heart from breaking into pieces....i gets too paranoid now...im afraid of getting hurt again...i somehow cnt believe in guys word,coz they are juz hurting me like i hv no feelings...look here guys,im not a doll for u to play with kayy...get it in ur mind!!! if u treat me badly and hurt me constantly,i will show u what it feels like to get hurt...get it!!!!!! my heart is very fragile and its easily broken so onces u broke it,thats it,theres nothing cn ever be meant again...ur such a sweet-talker,u make me believe in ur sweet words,u make me fall harder for u,u make me think of u every single minutes,u make me hv faith in u & i trust u wif everything i hv but, now its different....i cnt trust u now,u hv let me down,u hv broke my heart,u broke the final promise i hv given to u & now,i juz cn wait and see wats gonna happen soon....
~Hanya bayang-bayangan wajahmu yang bermain diingatanku,kusedari kita sudah tidak seperti dahulu,dirimu semakin jauh dariku tetapi,semakin hampir dengan dirinya.....~
♥ Tuesday, February 16, 2010 @ 9:40 AM
Assalamualaikum,
Sorry for the very late update...
bz wif certain things...work and some other personal stuff...
woke up early todae,bathe,breakfast then surf internet...later going to work again[ split shift ]
haizzzz...i am tired alr...no mood to work anymore...
problem after problem but nothing is solve till now...
getting fed up of all this misery....why do i hv to go thru this...
i got so many problems...at home different prob,at work place different prob...
its making me sick...
i felt and i sense that the whole outlet know abt my problem alr,people has started talking abt it yesterdae...
Ya Tuhan,knp aku diberi dugaan seperti ini...aku sudah tidak berdaya lagi mengharungi pelbagai masalah yang berlaku kpd diriku...
sorry....im not in the mood to talk much abt my problem...
all i want to do is FORGET EVERYTHING....and leave the rest to fate....
as for now,i dun hv the urge to go to work...no mood for everything,all i want to do is stay at home and spent more time wif granny....
i think i shud quit my job....soon....yupp,i think i shud...coz theres no point sticking to that job if someone treat me juz like an enermy....
no used holding on to something that didnt want to be hold on to...
♥ Friday, February 12, 2010 @ 9:48 PM
Assalamualaikum...
Dear readers,
i felt very sad at this point of time...everyone around me is making me cry...and yes,i am crying rite now...my granny scold me and ask me to quit my work,i fought wif my bf,my sista didnt return home,mother is crying for wat sista did to her and many more...why am i being put thru all this misery...i am sick of all this...problem after problem...i dun noe wat will happen next...nobody cn help me...im stuck in between all this...theres so much for me to think and its making me mad...
u may think that im smiling but actually im crying inside...no one knows...im afraid to meet anyone now coz my eyes see swollen...i hope when i cry alot,i'll turn blind and by then i dun hv to see the faces that has cause me all my tears to shed...it hurts alot more when the one whose making u cry is the one that u truly love...why do love hurts the most...heartbreaks is the worst thing i ever felt coz onces ur heart is broken theres nothing we cn do to fix it bck again...if u really want to noe,my heart still loves u...but,u hv hurt me dear...its not easy for me to gain bck my trust for u...i am sorry to say all the harsh things to u juz now...i felt bad for saying that to u...but,my heart is at the verge of breaking after that nite incident...i juz cnt forget how u treat me that way...i noe,u hv a nice heart,u care for others,thats good...its ok u...thank you for all u hv given me...
Here i am,in my room...alone...granny didnt want to look at me at all...she's mad at me abt something....all i cn do is talk to myself...im looking at the picx we took together since the first time we meet on the 4 oct 2009,how happy we are at that time...but then,as the time pass by...we are drifted away...we fight and argue more often than before and we dun hv enuf time for each other...time flies so fast,i miss the time we share the happiness together but now,theres no happiness only tears thats rolling down my cheek...tears cnt stop rolling down from my eyes,it keeps rolling and i cnt stop it whenever i think of us....i admit,i still loves you...but,sadly u hv failed me...u treat me badly...u hurt me and it cause excruciating pain upon my heart...and i am afraid that history will repeat itself...
...Biarpun luka dihatiku hampir sembuh,namun kesannya masih ada...Mungkin duluku terlalu percayakanmu,mungkin duluku terlalu mencintaimu sehinggakan diriku terluka oleh kamu akhirnya...
♥ @ 9:05 AM
assalamualaikum....
first of all,dedicate diz to u...all the best for ur exam todae...
readers,
pls help me...i dun noe wat am i feeling right now...i dun noe wat shud i do after all diz while...
im tired of all diz...being alone is the best way coz nobody will hurt me that way...
To u,guess u noe who u really are...i noe im such a foolish gf of urs...im not understanding enough and i alweiz makes u angry...i am sorry...i think,the best solution for us is to be apart from one another...theres no point hanging on wif each other if we alweiz kip hurting one another...i thought,our 4th anniversary will work well but,i prove myself wrong...thankx alot for treating me this way... U,im not important to u at all...other thing is much more important to u....dont ever care abt me anymore...if we are apart,u cn do everything as u like,eg;outing wif ur frens,spent time wif ur family,work,skool and go out wif ur girl frenz...no one will stop u from all that...u wont hv to waste ur time wif a stupid ite girl like me...ur brilliant and im not...theres alot of different between me and u...i see us gets more drifted apart each day...and that juz show that we are not meant to be together...i give u the last chance to prove to me that ur sorry for everything u do,but i was wrong...u treat the chance that i gave u like a rubbish...u broke it again and yes,u already BREAK MY HEART....its not easy to amend it....u guys are juz the same,ur favourite past time is hurting girls feeling...u treat us like a doll...ur wrong,girls is not a doll for u to play wif...u hurt me,u break my heart,i lost my trust to u and i promise i wont forget wat u put me thru all diz while...u hurt me damn badly,i will show u wat it feels like to be soo used....ALL GUYS ARE JUZ THE SAME...im tired of crying when im hurt by u...i know i was wrong to give my heart to someone who wont give a damn...hati i remuk redam seperti kaca terhempas ke lantai,ia tidak mungkin akan bersatu kembali....benarku mencintaimu,tp tk bergini,u khianati hati i,u curang kpd i,u dustakan cinta i kpd u...u hancurkan semua harapan yg kita bina bersama dan sekarang,ia akan berakhir disini...i noe i will cry,but u dun hv to worry abt me,im used to crying alot...smue lelaki same saje,blom dapat tk uat perangai,bila dh bosan kiteorg dibuang mcm sampah....all guys use the same trick...sweet talker trick,gives fake promises to girls and makes girls believe their stupid lies and then treat girls like a shit and at the end,its not the guys that cried,but its the girl who will cry damn badly coz she's hurt by the guy she truly love...the last chance that i gave u,u already broke it..yes,u broke it and u break my heart...so,it juz means that theres nothing left for us to say...
the fact abt love is: LOVE TRULY HURTS....
kayy readers,i gtg to get ready to go to work now...
assalamualaikum...bbye...
♥ Thursday, February 11, 2010 @ 12:45 AM
heres the picx we took juz now :
♥ Wednesday, February 10, 2010 @ 11:30 PM
assalamualaikum....
to all readers,i wanna say heyleww..!
for the very first time i update my blog at nite...umm..juz finish my bathe and here i am in front of my computer updating my journal...i reached home at 10:25pm juz now...[dun hv to noe the reason why k]...
cut the story short,juz now mit baby at amk mrt station...im late again...i am sorry to kip u waiting...thankx alot baby for the red coloured shawl and red coloured specs...i luv it...thx alot dear....took train down to Toa payoh...then we took bus no. 145 to henderson road [we wanna go henderson wave]...its a very long journey in the bus to our destination...till i felt asleep for a short while on baby's shoulder...sorry baby...reached there,the sun was shining brightly on us...cnt stand the hottness siaa...had to take a long stairs up to the top of the henderson wave...its worth the while...its such a beautiful place to go to...nice scenery wif beautiful flora & fauna...saw monkey hanging from 1 tree to another tree...cute nyerr...although the weather is very hot,we had soo much fun...we took lots of picx as a remembrance for us...
after that,we took the stairs down and walk towards a bus stop and wait for bus no. 131...we alight at harbourfront...we had dinner at Ramen Ten....quite a romantic place for couples to hv a dinner together...nice ambiance....nice lighting and delicious food...
after we finish our food,we go walk2 at vivo city...baby planned to go bugis after that so we took train to bugis...we bought the same watch,the different is only its inner color...mine is red whereas he's yellow...ouhya!saw my classmates at bugis street,shou liang,brendan & wei jie....they kinda not recognise me...haizz...dun noe why siaaa...sad seii... :(
kayy2 stop it nana,be matured dun act like a kid k...continue again,we then when to burger king and plan to go where after that...baby find a brilliant idea...we then walk to Arab street...nice siaa the place at nite....wif arabic song and all...felt like its an arabic night....the settings and the ambiance juz makes the place looks like an arab house...i nvr smoke and wont ever smoke...but,for the first time,i tried sheesha...cn choose the flavour,so me and baby choose strawberry flavour....i tried and it taste quite ok,nice lurr...wif that strawberry flavour add to it making it nicer...plus theres an arabic song being played making it more memorable...its such a nice experience...thankx baby...we tried sheesha @ Mom's tandoori sultanas restaurant...nearby Masjid Sultan...really...its nice....suddenly,my manager,David called me...he spoilt my mood seii...he accuse me of something...arghh!!im so pissed off by all this....it juz spoilt my good mood...and we dun stay there for 1 hr...coz baby had to go to work...took train together,baby alight at dhoby ghaut whereas i continue my journey bck home....alone lurr,only songs from my mp3 player that accompany me bck...alight at amk and went to amk hub and took bus no. 261 and went bck home... - _______-
time checked,its 12:06am...granny is asleep alr,atok pon dh tdo...only left me here alone in my room...alone....i dun noe why i cnt shut my eyes tonite...its like soo hard for me to fall asleep...later working split shift,gonna be a very tiring dae for me...duhh...cnt wait to mit darling fiza later on at work...see u so0n sista...
kayy then,gotta go and force myself to sleep now...
gd mawnink to all readers...!but gd nite to me coz i hvnt sleep yet...haizzz...
so0o....valediction.....
assalamualaikum....
....hope that tomorrow gonna be a better day unlike the other day itself....
♥ @ 11:26 AM
assalamualaikum...
a very,very gd mawnink to all readers...
woke up alr???umm...
kayy,todae is wednesdae,10 feb 2010....
todae marks a significant dae for me...its my 4th anniversary wif Saiful Ariffin...
i admit,theres ups and down in our relationship...but,after we admit our mistake and amend it to change for the better here we are my dear...still together,and will alweiz be there for one another...i hope...i noe,i alweiz throw tantrums to u and being too emotional when it comes to feeling...i am sorry sayang...pls forgive me for all my wrong doings...&& i juz hope that our anniversary celebration will go smooth as what we plan earlier on...insyaallah,amin....see u so0n BABY...!!!i love you....
ouhya..!!!
todae is my off dae...yay!!wooho0ooo...!!!at last i get to spend time wif my love ones after so long...
lets talk abt yesterdae @ work...cn i??
okae,like usual mit my darling sista...hafizah @ amk hub...went to check for our pay,but sadly hvnt get yet...huhu...sedeh purrr kiteorg...[memang sedeh pon]...haizzz
went to look ard for more inspiration on what to buy after we got our first pay...suddenly i saw someone...wanna noe who that someone is???
he is non other than Mustafa....my sista ex bf...he saw me and i saw him,but i acted as if i didnt noe him...
kayy,cut the story short...we took bus 265 and went straight to workplace...
reached there before time,but our manager,David,assigned fiza to do cashiering thingy...whereas for me,i was assigned to wipe the alfresco tables and do settings...haizz....kanchong siaa manager....staff working yesterdae is me,fiza afiq,alif,khen tang,the new girl,dylan and our manager,David...
when i was wiping the tables @ alfresco...fiza came and told me that she wanna go and change $ at our other outlet...not far from our restaurant juz nid to walk there...i told fiza i wanna accompany her and i follow her there and came bck and continue doing table setting...rush abit coz nid to do setting and manager wanna do briefing....run here and there...penat seii...not forgetting,yesterdae theres a new staff in our restaurant...she is fiza's E.C bestfriend....sorry,cnt tell her name...only fiza knew it...
our restaurant was running full house,and we even had turn on after some customer went bck...it juz felt like working during weekends...tired -_- ....somemore that new girl dun noe many things after i,fiza & david tot her before the start of our work...she kept asking diz and that but in the end didnt do as what we told her to do...at last,david had to do it all over again...ape seii...tired u noe talking and giving instructions when the person dun even give a damn to us...argghhh!!!mcm buang air ludah jerr biler bebual ngn pompan tuu...laen org suroh,laen plak dier uat....ape sakk...!!!
i pity fiza yesterdae,she do cashier and she must wipe cutleries...& the cutleries that need to be wipe is alot...4 blue tubs...banyak lurr seii...after i finish doing my work,i ran behind and help fiza wipe cutleries...if i nvr help no one help my darling sista,so i take the initiative to wipe together wif her...that girl??huh..no use seiii....didnt do what she is supposed to do,instead she do runners duties...WTH...at last,fiza and me finish wiping all the 4 tubs of cutleries...and me & fiza fasten our way,take our bag and went in and hv a supper wif the rest[referring to david,khen tang & dylan]...after that,we rush out of our restaurant...sad siaaa,no bus for us...later alr lurr...DUHHH...the last bus juz went off...its alr 11:45pm...haizz...its 11:50pm,sad to say,we had to walk to the mrt station and took taxi home...dylan & khen tang went bck together wif 1 taxi...while me,fiza & david took another taxi...we share $ to pay the taxi fare....the taxi send me home first,then to fiza's house and lastly our manager David...ouhyah,alif is sooo different yesterdae...i dun noe why,maybe its bcoz of.........umm...its ok...sorry...
i reached home at 12:02am...like usual granny wait for me,she hvnt sleep yet...i had my bathe and then i have a little conversation wif granny for awhile[dun hv to noe what it is abt k]...after that i tune in to Ria [malay radio channel] to listen to Misteri Jam 12...aiyooo!!!seram purrr cite2 mlm td....really leh scary siaaa!!but i like it..!hehee...after that i went to bed....zzzzZZZZzzzzz.....
later i'll be meeting baby...diz months anniversary theme is yellow....soo,yeahh yellow!
btw,to my darling sista fiza.....teeeheee...someone send u a regards tawuu...teka sape org tuu???kayy..tkpe kite blg awk jer kayy...Andin kirim salam awk sis....
alrite readers...i gtg now,wanna hv my lunch wif lovely granny...
will update so0n kayy juz wait....
take care...bbye...!!!
assalamualaikum.....
♥ @ 11:23 AM
happy 4th anniversary baby..!!!
thanks for being my boifren....thankz for the care & concern u gave to me...
i hope that whatever that has happen before has taught us a lesson to not repeat it again this time round...
i love you my dear....see u soon love!!!
♥ Tuesday, February 9, 2010 @ 9:26 AM
hie readers...gd mawnink...!!!
assalamualaikum semua....hehee...
woke up at 7: 20am...like usual bathe,breakfast and clear all household duties...
im at home wif atok & my darling kitty,Isnin...heee...nenek klua ngn mama & redha baby gy pasar geylang...left me only,nothing to do other than blogging...
yesterdae work nite shift,walao full house siaaa....juz like weekends like dat....fiza do cashier stuff whereas me in charge of section A & C...huhu...section C very sian lehh...binget lurr asyik kene jage tuu section jerrr...arghhh!!!soo hard siaa to walk ard that area wif tray and plates....idk why manager love to put me thru that misery section....haizzzz....dh naseb kottt..!
staff working last nite is me,fiza,rais,hairie,khen tang & dylan...not including manager lurr...duhh!
rush here & there...felt like cartoons seii...hahaa
and i hv to admit...ITS TIRING....huhuhu... :(
ohya..!!!
btw,congrates to Nazry for getting himself into the course and polytechnic of his dreamz...must study hard and do well tawuu & to ginnn,congratez boi!!!im hapie for u...hope u and her will last long together kayy...amin...
umm...let see wat shall i share wif all of u...?
later gg to work again,working nite shift...will meet fiza @ amk hub later on,then off to workplace together...see u so0n dear sis! :)
see that above picx?
thats me with my precious love granny...i love my granny....i swear...
laterly i'hv got this feeling...
i felt that i dun hv much time for myself...im too busy wif certain things and i admit i now regretted myself...
im busy working and i see myself dun even hv time to spend wif my granny who took care of me since i was a baby...
i think,i'hv and must make a change...its now or never...
i want to spend more time wif granny,i dun want granny to feel lonely or useless...i love you granny...without my granny i wouldnt be here...my granny is my precious thing,i dun wanna lose my granny...nenek please dont ever leave me...theres soo many people leaving me and i cnt afford to lost u either granny...
before its too late,before i lose her one dae...i must do everything and anything for her no matter what...even if i hv to sacrifice my own life i will....im serious...because my granny is more important than my own life...the moments that i once lose her for awhile has makes me paranoid to it and i dun wanna lose her for the second time...i will do whatever it takes to make her happy and be with her by her side juz like what she do to me when i was a little girl...her love is so unconditional and its beyond all boundaries...and so is my love for my granny...
♥ Monday, February 8, 2010 @ 12:18 PM
hiee there.... ROZIANA here....!!! :)
hope everyone is feeling great...
me?umm...im bored...wanna noe why??
its bcoz i dun hv anything to do rite now....huhu..
thats why i update my blog....hehee...work??at nite...not now,later then i go work....now i resting...hehee
woww...!todae is the 8 of feb 2010...
2 more daez before our 4th months together kn3 baby??btl tk??heee....insyaallah,amin...
dh lame seii tk jmp baby...its alrite,juz need to endure...i rindu sgt pd baby i....i sayang u tawuu...
ouhya!not forgetting....thanks to fiza for helping me yesterdae finding a perfect gift for my luv...felt soo relief after i got wat i wanted to find...thx sis :)!!!
hope baby will luv it like i do...
a quote for everyone:
which will u prefer?
living with the person u can live with OR living with the person u can't live without???
think about it deeply....
kayy lurrr....i'hv gtg now...will see u soon k...do take care!
bbye....assalamualaikum...
♥ @ 12:07 PM
wanna see my attachment place...i mean Dhoby Ghaut outlet...???here it is....sorie lurr didnt get to take much picx coz bz seiii...nxt time kae...hahhaaa....
btw,nice pose u hv fiza...hehheeee
♥ @ 11:34 AM
assalamualaikum...
a very gewd afterno0n to all..! woke up!!!!woke up!!!!!hehee...
hope everyone had a great week ahead iyerrr...
kayy..lets get started,cn?okie??
hehe...
todae i woke up at 7:42am...bathe,breakfast,do household chores and went to market to buy garlic and ginger[granny wanna use it for cooking later on]...
alrite then,reached home yesterdae nite at ard 11+ pm...thx to fiza's father for sending me homeeee :)
see this above picx,rite???guess who???
hahaa...diz is me for real..!sempat amek gmbr waktu keje...hehhee...thx to fiza for taking this picx for me...heee...
wanna noe wat happen yesterdae @ work???
hahaa...
yesterdae me,fiza,afiq,eunice,rais,alif,hairi,viknesh,loges,nazry & sahadat work nite shift...full house seii last nite...standard lurrr sundae nite wat...many people come to hv dinner wif their family members and their love ones...
the happy thing is that me & fiza get to worked together at last..!yeshhhh!!heheee...the 2 of us was in charge of alfresco[outside seating]...best siaaa...
rais and fiza kept teasing one another,...cute siaa...fiza is soo hapie to see her E.C after afew daez of not seeing him due to attachment @ dhoby ghaut...i hope and pray that diz coming valentine dae afiq will do a surprise for fiza...like asking her to be his valentine partner...heeee....they make a great couple...i wanna see afiq + fiza together-gether...hehheee...amin...i will pray for them...
ohyah!alif??? alif kept calling my name..."nana here","nana there"...hahhaa...i dun noe why siaa he act that way yesterdae nite...soo funnieee seiii....he's not like that before...hahaa....hyperactive maybe...its fun working wif them...
alamak....!
diz week schedule is sooo damn tight seii...ishhhh!!!bingetnyerrrr....!
only 1 dae off...walao wei...tired siaaaa!
and to add on,me and fiza diz week many2 time shud not split shift...haizz...i wanna rest lurrr...im not robot,ok?i nid to rest,plz understand lurr manager...aiyooo!!!!
baby msg me last nite @ work telling me that diz week he's nt skooling...some sort like having holidae like dat...i wanna spent time wif him lurrr...btw,bby...!i miz u dear...miss u alot tawuuuuu...
baby,juz wanna remind u that I LOVE YOU...
♥ Sunday, February 7, 2010 @ 10:32 AM
assalamualaikum to everyone...
wakie-wakie people...!
dh bgn blom???hehee..kayy2,i understand its sundae,7 feb 2010..1 week before my bestfriend bdae...hehee...ceyhh ceyhh,aisyah dh nk turn sweet-18 seii...heeee...shweet shweet lurr dierr kayy....
alryte...lets get started cn i??hahaa...
todae woke up at 7:35am...feeling soo fresh...had my bathe,breakfast and here i am blogging...hehehehe...bored seii dun noe wat to do,soo i think its better i spend my time updating my journal...
wanna noe something..?im listening to a song,a very sweet sweet song entitled 'wait for you' from Elliot Yamin...i really really fall in love with diz song....sooo shweet lurrrr...fyi,diz song is one of my fav song...
kayy...yesterdae me & fiza had an attachment at Dhoby Ghaut outlet...town lurr seiii...
standard for us,me & fiza bought our fav drink...bubble tea!!!!hehe..and scroll down to plaza singapura,we go there and look ard for some thingy...when we went there,the memories wif Jeson juz strike our minds...saw a guy wearing vest,i told fiza that guy seems juz like Jeson...but sadly,Jeson is bck at Nepal...so,it cnt be him...
the funnie part iz,fiza play at the escalator and i tried to chase her but she's too fast for me to catch and im soo paiseh siaaa when i tried to go down the escalator thats gg upwards...hahhaa....i felt juz like a HAMSTERRRRRR...in the cage running running at the wheel...heee...mcm chincilla[hamster] cute seii....hahha...i wont forget that moment yesterdae...hahhaaaaaaa...
at ard 5pm,we make our way to Dhoby Ghaut mrt station and sat there for awhile chit chatting...and fiza is busy replying her friend msg...funnie seii the question that guy asked...i pity fiza,she had to think and think so deeply before replying his question...
then after that,we head straight to our attachment workplace...we change up and start to do hosting...like wat we already expected earlier on,me & fiza was separated...fiza do indoor seating whereas i do outdoor seating...sad siaaa cnnt talk much wif my CICAK[hehheee...juz kidding sis]....yesterdae,theres only me,fiza,janna,sisi & syafiq...not including our 2 manager lurrr...yesterdae is saturdae rite,am i ryte??duhh...our outlet is full house...standard lurrr seii...town purr!!!
theres many plates to clear and it was soo cramp up wif customer and i had abit of difficulties gg thru the path way...but still some of them is helpful enough to pass the plates for me and make my work slightly easier...thx yeahh...
at ard 7:05 or 7:10pm,theres diz group of guy...all are matrep...theres no minahrep at all...they came and my manager send them to their table[alfresco aka outdoor seating]...theres abt 12 of them...
seriously,i didnt dare to look at them...i juz concentrate at my work...i continue clearing plates at some of the tables...suddenly,my manager called my name from behind...i turn and she told me to clear the plates at table 68...and table 68 is where the matrep is...alamakkkkkkk!!!omg!!!! i'hv no choice i hv to clear it coz im in charge of it...i bring my round tray and went there and took the plates from their table,they all kept looking at me and i felt awkward...serious!my hands is trembling holding my tray...they kept calling my name coz im using name tag...i juz kept shut and walk away from their table after clearing all the plates from them...
at the station while clearing rubbish from the plates,my work friend,Syafiq...asked me this:
syafiq: kau ok tk?
roziana: ok..knp?
syfiq: lau kau tk ok kau mesti bilang aku tau..
roziana: ok,lau ade pape aku bilang kau..
syfiq: kau jgn diam jerr lau matrep2 tuu kacao2 kau..
roziana: ok...dun worie..thx
after that syafiq continue wif his runner duties...sending food to our customer tables...as for me,i go ard and clear other plates from the customers table...haizz...tired siaa,had to do it all alone...
went bck to my station,stacking up the plates...behind me theres this particular guy...i mean,this guy is 1 of the matrep from table 68 came to me...i dun dare to turn my head and i juz look downwards...he called my name twice and i look bck at him...he smile and ask me this:
that guy: roziana...
roziana: ya...?
that guy: umm...roziana,are u willing to be my girlfriend?
roziana: i was like 'huh'...
that guy: cn u be my valentine?
roziana: i was shocked..i cnt even talk at all...
that guy: cn i hv u nye number?
roziana: for wat?knp?
that guy: i nk berkenalan dgn u...
roziana: sorry u...im not interested..
that guy: knp?
roziana: i dh attached...sorry...[syafiq is walking pass me]i called syafiq and i act as if i was asking syafiq where to place the cutleries...]that guy juz smile and walk bck to his table...
i thank syafiq for saving me from that guy...thx alot Syafiq...
i continue wif my work,sending things to kitchen and i kept thinking why he ask me...why dont he asked that question to my friend fiza or janna...fiza and janna is beautiful too...haizz..why must it be me?....till now,that incident kept playing in my mind...
to that particular guy,i am sorry...im attached already...
i then continue wiping the tables and clearing things and not long after that at ard 9:25pm,the matrep make their way out from our restaurant...
cut the story short,after i finish clearing my outdoor seating i went inside the restaurant and help fiza...den i go washed the used tray[doing closing]...and then,we go wipe cutleries...and before we went bck home,we had our supper first and said goodbye to all...thx to fiza's father for sending me home...reached home,i go take my bathe then i chit chat for awhile wif granny ,after that i went to bed...sleeping time...hahaa...thats the whole story that happens yesterdae...
for todae,i will be working for dinner tonite...and will be bck at my outlet...best seii...at last!!!hehee...i noe,fiza miz her E.C alot...!heeee...and im sure her E.C must be missing her to000000!!!!mit u later sis in the bus...heee :)
baby,
i miss you dear.....i love you so much.....
orite people,i'hv gtg now...cn i???hehhee...
wanna iron my clothes and all lurrr...will update so0n kayy!i promise...!!!
take care everyone..! :) bbye..!
♥ Saturday, February 6, 2010 @ 10:19 AM
assalamualaikum...gewd mawnink everyone!!!
wakieee-wakieee people...!
sooorieeeee...quite bz lately...will try to update kayy..
todae,
woke up at 7am..[like usual..haha]..tired seii..still wanna sleep,but hv to wake up coz dh pagy purrr...[datz fine,..dh biaseeer]
kayy,i shall start talking abt yesterdae first alrite?
yesterdae me & fiza had an attachment at Dhoby Ghaut area..town seiii...wooho0000!!!hehehee...best lerr tp,penat...standard..!!!
we planned to go there together...so0oo,fiza wait for me at bishan j8..i was late again...soorieee sis...feel soo weird after soo long time nvr step at j8,miz it seiii...
we then took a train to Dhoby ghaut,reached there its raining heavily...we decide to wait for the rain to stop...while waiting,we bought bubble tea[standard drink...fav mahhh!!]hehee..and we sat at outside Dhoby Ghaut mrt station and drank our drinks...dun worie,we're not late kayyy...we are too early!really lorr!eheehee...tp mcm best gytu lepak pt sane...ouhyahh!for the very first time,i saw Dhoby Ghaut Green...my attachment area was not far from Dhoby Ghaut Green...nice siaa dat place!wanna go there again,its opp park mall...sis,next time kite lepak pt situ nk3??hehee...
while drinking our bubble tea,we talk & talk & talk...we talk abt this & that...the last time fiza went there was went we last go shopping wif Jeson before he went bck to Nepal...its like a memorable place seii...kinda miz that moments...i try to cheer fiza up,i create jokes and at last,she laugh here and there....hahhaa...i luv her laughter...this iz real lorrr!!!hehee...
ard 5:20pm,we finish up our drinks then we walk to our workplace...we report to the manager and yes,i felt soo awkward...duhh!its not my outlet watt,thats why i felt that way...but,thats fine...hahaha...make new frenz there wif Janna,Syafiq & Sahil...they are friendly and helpful too...nice meeting them...
kayy,we fasten our way to toilet and tied our hair...[must be neat and tidy..!]sad to say,no mirror...haha..so,we had to use the small mirror[my compact powder mirror]..used name tags,button up our shirt,tuck it in properly and lastly used apron...after all that,we fasten our way to the front[to do hosting]..me and fiza was in-charge of inside seating...it was full house...town wattt....like duhh!!funnie thing is,fiza and me had to rush here and there clearing up plates from our customers tables...and do new settings[turn over]...although it was tiring,we had soo much fun...best sia the scenery there...nite scenery last katekn...hahaha...im abit pissed off wif this particular chef at that outlet,he ask me for my name and he kip on calling me whenever i walk pass him when sending things to the kitchen area...arghhh!!!
orite,it was alr 11: 35pm we do closing and everything...then at last,we had our makan time...tired alr,like no mood to eat but still hv to coz the manager ask me and fiza to eat first before we went home...at that time,i felt soo tired + sleepieee seiii...fiish our food,we say goodbye to everyone and rush to park mall where fiza's father waited for us in the van...thx uncle for sending me home...i reahed home at 12:20am...took my bathe,wash my clothes and then went straight to bed....my eyes is sooo sleepie alr...zzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZzzz!!!
todae,still feeling fatigue...
work nite shift again later on...at Dhoby Ghaut again[attachment for 2 daez,yesterdae & todae]...tmr bck to our outlet...
ouhyahh!todae iz 6 feb rite??
that means,its left wif 4 more daez before something special gg to happen...insyaallah,amin...
yesterdae,i alr made a decision..i choose yellow for this months anniversary...nice color...hope bby will love it too...
and yes i admit,its hard to find the exact gifts for a guy...really...i go round & round & round to find for a suitable one...huhuhu...[pening seii kepala]
i asked for fiza's opinion coz she hv 3 brother and she might noe and cn gave me some idea of a perfect gifts...and thx to her for giving me some opinion...at least now i had a few things in mind...
i juz hope and pray that baby will like it...
later,i wanna iron my work uniform and apron...and then i wanna hv a rest for awhile before getting ready for work...saturday nite @ town...wooohooo!!!
arggghh...im bored...tired...sleepiee...
but,im feeling quite alrite coz im listening to a song...
its a song entitled 'takkan pisah' from Kangen Band...nice and meaningful song if u listen to its lyrics properly...
kayy then,i wanna rest awhile...will update so0n kayy..
btw to Seroja,thx for the advice...i do appreciate it...mind giving me ur email add??coz truthfully speaking,i dun noe u...but,cn i noe who the real u?thankx...
P.S: kimi o ai shiteru baby...
♥ Wednesday, February 3, 2010 @ 8:10 PM
assalamualaikum....
here i am again,in my room....alone...
granny is in the hall making pineapples tarts,whereas grandfather is asleep already....
time check,its 8:16pm now...
im listening to a song entittled 'hati yang kau sakiti ' from Rossa...this song really brings significant meanings for me in this point of time..try to listen to this song and understand the lyrics clearly..this songs juz describe the feeling i had inside me now..if u listen to this song,u'll understand what im feeling rite now..and not forgetting,my blog background song entittled 'separuh jiwaku pergi bersamamu' from Anang...its a nice song...i really love this 2 song...do listen to it whenever ur free,kayy?
i hv no idea what i should do...yes,im bored...yes im sick,i noe i should rest...but,not now ok...i'hv many things in mind...i'hv to think abt this and that...argghhh!
thx fiza for the concern u gave me,u too must take gd care of ur health too kae...must'nt sleep to late tawuu...see u soon at work...
juz now baby msg me diz :
msg: bby i tk jadi tido..haiz bby i nk bbl psl us bleh?
i replied: bleh..
msg: bby syg i luv u so much n u knw tat rite..i rasa so far away this 4 days witout u..i rasa the loneliness tat i will felt if u r gone..i cant bear to see me spending my life witout u..i takot bby satu hari akan tinggalkn i..bby pls bilang pada i bby takkn tinggalkn i plz?
i replied: knp bby kate cm nie?....
msg: bby i rasa takut yg bby satu hari nk tinggalkn i..tat juz wad i been feeling tis 4 days..tats all..takper la bby i juz glad bby dah sihat..
i replied: i tkkn tinggalkn bby tanpa alasan yg kukuh..i am sorie fr wat i wrote on my blog..
while typing this,out of a sudden my phone vibrate...its a call from baby...i picked it up and talk to him..he told me why i wrote that on my blog..he say he's sorry for hurting me badly..i told him,"its ok bie"..
bby,guess that u hv already read everything that i wrote on my blog...rite?
i am sorry to hv to say all that to u..i didnt hv much courage to tell u straight to ur face..im afraid i might hurt u even deeper that way..my friend ask me wats wrong wif us..i juz say nothing..im thankful to hv a friend who is there for me and give me words of encouragement for me to go thru this..they told me that i hv given u so much chances but again u do me like this..yes,i admit..i'hv given u chances after chances but all i receive is nothing juz pain and hurt from u..baby,i hv forgiven u long time ago..i'll alweiz forgive u..but its up to u to decide,i leave it to u to make the conclusion..baby,im not mad at u for ur info..for onces,i juz want u to understand my feelings..thats all..i dont ask much from u..7 more daes before our 4 months anniversary,i hope everything gonna be alright by then..4 months to me is a long period of time..i pray and hope we cn be a better person for one another..i noe u love me..i do love u too baby..but baby,in love theres a cost for us to pay..it means,when we are in love,we hv to sacrifice something for the better but,not for the worst..love really needs much understanding between 2 souls..if we cnt commit with this,we cnt commit wit other things too..i tried to understand u but i nvr see u trying to understand me..but thats fine..i'll give u another chance..juz now u told me that u cnt be responsible with ur words,rite?...baby,juz to let u noe something that words cn cut as sharply as any blade,and that those cuts leave scars upon the souls..im sorry for being like this..its not my intention to be like this..i trust u to not do it again and i hv given u a chance to amend ur mistakes..but,if it happens again..umm..i dun noe wat i shud do..maybe,i shud blame myself for this for giving too much chance and still get hurt again..baby,i love you..i noe u knew it..here,i gave u my heart and i trust u not to break it again...but,if u do and my heart is broken by u..theres nothing i cn do other than to close my heart for everything..coz im so paranoid of being hurt and get my heart broken by the one i truthfully love..
P.S: i dun ask much from u..i juz want u to understand my feelings..thats all..
♥ @ 8:00 PM
read this clearly:
the most critical moments in life
when someone very special hurts u deeply,
causes tears in ur eyes
and ask, :what happen?"
but u juz reply, "nothing"....
sometimes,
i wish certain people wont tell me
that they love me
wanna noe why?
so that i wont waste my time
believing their
.......sweetest lies.......
separation is a wound that no one cn heal but rememberance is a gift that no one cn steal....
♥ @ 3:59 PM
if one day...i actually start to matter to u,just let me know...
i dun mind when u never call me anymore,i dun mind when your with your friends,i dun mind when u dun text me,i dun mind when im alweiz get hurt. after all,minding me was never a big deal to u...
at the mere blink of an eye it was all gone...
everywhere i go,it reminds me of u...but,when i think of u,i think of her too that girl u love....i try to see things positively but sadly i always recall that moments when ur wif me but u talk to me abt her....i tried to keep this to myself and try to be a better girl for u....but everything i do,it juz seems like it alweiz remind u of her....to tell u the truth,i never have the heart to show u that im hurt whenever u talk to me abt her but when i return home,in my room,i cried myself to sleep...maybe im not good enough for u....i noe im not perfect,and i dont live to be a perfect one....i tried my best to change myself for u....but,thru ur eyes i cn see that u still think of her...theres a sad truth that i hv to accept...although its hard,i still hv to go thru it...people keep asking me if im ok,i'll replied them 'ya,im ok'....but nobody really know what i truly felt inside...its killing me....im not trying to blame u for every single thing but,i juz want u to understand my feelings....thats all....is it so hard for u?...if it is,by all means i am sorry....im sorry for everything that i said to u....try to put urself in my position,what will u feel if i kept talking abt my ex bf to u?...seriously,im hurt....i thought when i get to noe u,u will brightens my dae and cheer me up when im down but,i juz realise that i place too high hopes to u....i didnt ask much from u,i only want u to think carefully regarding the question above....i think,we must clear things out....we hv to come to a conclusion for this now before its too late....everything is in ur hand now,i leave it to u to decide....i dun noe wat i am to u,i dun want to assume anything now coz wat if one dae u decide to drop me out of ur life,i hv enough strength to move on....
P.S: i am sorry...
♥ @ 3:28 PM
assalamualaikum to everyone....
a very good afternoon to all....hope all of u is doing well....
unlike me,im still sick...resting the whole dae in my room....
juz had my medication juz now,hate it lerr! im tired of consuming all those medicine....!!!
alhamdulillah,im recovering...thx Allah....
umm....here i am,in my room updating my blog,writing abt my life story....
todae,unlike the other dae...i felt sad....sadness that i cnt bare wif it anymore...i dun noe why im feeling that way....maybe,something is gonna happen....whatever it is,i juz leave everything to Allah,may Allah lead me to the right path and bring me to see the truth of all things....insyaallah,amin....
my life is full misery and sadness....i used to be a cheerful and a happy go lucky girl before,but now im no longer like what i used to be when im a little girl....happiness is no longer in my soul....everything is gone....sometimes,i felt like returning to my childhood days where i cn play wif my teddy bear and enjoy eating ice cream like nobody business....somehow everything has change....nothing gonna be the same...when im a little girl,skin my knees is much better than healing a broken heart...a heart,onces its broken,its fragment cn no longer be place together anymore....it cn nvr be heal coz onces its broken,its broken into pieces....and dont ever try to put again the pieces together coz u might get cut and hurt ur finger....even if the pain already be heal,but the scars will alweiz remain there forever....onces the heart is being broken,it takes alot of time to recover again....but,whatever it is the scar will alweiz remind us about what that person has done towards us no matter what....when we had a broken heart,all that we cn do is only cry and cry...by crying we cn feel slightly better but,still the pain and hurt will remain there as long as it is....but we hv to be strong to face all the problems that happens in this life....life still hv to moved on although that pain remain permanently in our soul...cuts deep inside us...all we should do is smile coz it happens...
♥ Tuesday, February 2, 2010 @ 8:52 PM
assalamualaikum.....
at this point of time...im seated alone in my room...
granny tot i was sleeping after i consume my medicine...but,im not...here i am updating my blog...sorry granny,i'll sleep soon...
this moment...many things is running thru my mind...hard for me to explain it one by one...
i felt like im useless...theres no use for me to live in this world...
but for a reason,i must...for my granny sake i'll live in this planet earth,that nothing makes it easy...
the only person that cares for me when im lying on my bed is only my granny...i love you nenek...she's there for me to share my sadness and joy...she's alweiz there for me,im grateful to hv her...my granny loves me alot and i loves her alot...
i cnt imagine how my life wud be if my granny is no longer in this world...i cnt....i dun want it to happen....i rather die first than to see her leaving me forever....furthermore,im sick....my personal doctor once told me that i'll die anytime coz my blood pressure is running low...thats the reason why my granny is so scare whenever i fall sick...she dont want me to go...thats how huge her love towards me...
but when im sick like now,all i want to do is follow my late papa...but,i also dun want to leave my granny alone...i cnt bare to see her sad...
lately,my granny cried and cried in her bedroom...she tot i didnt noe....and yes,she cried....i tried to figure out why she cried but she dun wanna tell me...during prayer time,she alweiz pray and say my name,she's hoping for my fast recovery...thankx granny....i noe her loves is true towards me...unlike others...
i stay in my rooms for hours and everything that onces happen to me kept playing in my mind...
every single thing that onces cause me to cry a thousand tears...running thru my mind...not a single thing i'd missout...i tot that person already knew wat i like and wat i dislike,but i was wrong...again i was hurt...hurt by the truth that cnt be deny anymore....it seems like he still remember her...still think of her and still remember every single thing abt her....from the start,i already knew it...i knew this gonna happen to me....this is not the first or the second time this happen...its already afew time and yet he did it again...i cnt blame him....everyone makes mistakes,so is he....i blame myself for this....maybe i am wrong....he loves her and remember every single thing abt her....and he didnt loves me....im juz a stranger that bothers his life and screwed things up....im sorry to hv to say all this...maybe this is the truth...from ur eyes,i cn see it...theres a sad truth that i must be prepared to except....every single time u say abt her,it juz leaves more deeper scars upon my heart....i noe u wont understand it...its ok...soon u will understand it....everytime i say i love you i really meant it,im not saying it for the sake of saying only....but u,...umm...nevermind...i never talk to u abt my ex bf....and i try my best to avoid that topics regarding ex....but it looks like u keep bringing bck that topic....maybe u love talking abt ur ex gf [Ruth] ....i respect it...how lucky she is to hv a guy that still remember her all this while...she's such a great girl....and i realise that i wont be the same as her....i am Roziana,i am not Ruth....if u loves her,by all means go for her....i wont stop u from doing it....im happy if ur happy....if she's the reason that cn craft a smile upon ur face,then i guess its better i leave u two together.....i dont want to see u sad when ur wif me...i noe i cnt make u hapie like wat she onces did for u...im not angry at u....believe me....i juz want to see u live happily ever after wif the one u loves....that skool reminds u of her....that workplace reminds u of her...that block reminds u of her...that toilet at the void deck reminds u of her ,that picture of u and her wif ur frenz in ur facebook reminds u of her and everything reminds u of her....that juz shows how much u loves her.....i hv no rights to ask u to forget her....u hv the rights to do everything as u want....who am i to stop u from doing it....im juz a stranger....
u...i am sorry...i hv been keeping this to myself and its killing me bit by bit...for this past few months we hv been together,i tried to learn something....i hv learned to give and take...but,i alweiz give in wif u....i hv given u alot of chances but it seems like u dont even care...i admit i hv a few guy frens,but they are only FRIENDS to me....thats it....furthermore they noe that they hv to kip their distance towards me coz they noe i already attached to u...but,i nvr talk to u abt my ex thingy....but u alweiz did...and it juz send me a message that u still hv her in ur mind....i think,i better go....i better make my move....i dont want to stop u from the one u love....i promise,i'll pray for ur happiness wif her.....im not saying this for fun,im saying this for real....even though its hard to let u go,i hv to be strong enough to face all this matter....im gonna smile when i see u wif her again...i promise u this....i noe u hate me being like this...for that i am sorry....i noe my attitude sucks...but,im stating this crystal clear.....i admit i do love you so much but,if ur happiness is wif her not wif me,i think we better end this....theres no point ur wif me but actually ur heart isnt wif me but still and forever will be wif her....i am sorry if i hv hurt ur feelings....please take good care of ur health,eat ur medicine and rest well....
assalamualaikum....
♥ @ 8:30 PM
im sick,yet people think im not....i dun now why they do this to me...
if u hate me soo much,juz say it....dun hv to fake it like i dun noe...
i dun need u to visit me when im sick...i juz want u to pray for me and pls for once understand me...thats all i need...
but,people dun understand me....they think i like all their joke and teases...i like jokes,i cn take jokes....but,dun go over the limits...u people go over my limitation....u hurt my feelings and bring my pride down....how do u expect me to not be angry abt this...?tell me...
if ur sick,and people tease u for ur illnesses will u like it?u dont ryte?soo,it goes the same for me...i dun like it when people tease me that way...its not funny at all...!!! u might think that im too sensitive rite?....ok,fine...yes,i am sensitive but try to be in my position,wat will u feel...i cried bcoz i cnt take it anymore,people tease me like theres no ending to it...tease,tease and tease...fun rite to see me cry....i think everyone love it when they see me cry...thats wat they want from the start maybe....they wanted to make me cry and yes i cried that dae....and,i wont forget it easily...it leaves scars upon my soul....the excruciating pain cuts deep inside my soul and i will remember it forever wat u people hv done towards me....i kept all this to myself and it makes me sick even more....its ok people,u may hurt me as u like....u may make me cry if u want....u may do everything as u like....i'll accept it,and i'll leave the rest to Allah swt....
